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Carole

 

 

I see your clock roll over my shore,

I see your hands haunting art;

I see my skin shrink to touching,

cocooning ’round my heart.

 

Ouch, sharp, when you tell my time,

Poe-ish as the poet’s punch;

cold, wrenching, your fist clinched fright,

when I hear my ribcage crunch.

 

__

 

One morning, when storms birthed you,

and thunder vibrated my name,

crows fell from black cumulus claws,

hail echoed my one lone blame,

you just had to write me, plainly.

 

__

 

I see your hands haunting art,

you just had to write, and blame me;

I hear your hands haunting art,

you just had to write,

and stain me.

 

I see your clock roll over my shore,

and I repent,

for what it’s worth,

if I still have time.

 

For dVerse Tuesday.

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35 thoughts on “Carole

  1. dang man some really good lines in here…the poe-ish poets punch….my fav stanza though is right in the middle…

    One morning, when storms birthed you,
    and thunder vibrated my name,
    crows fell from black cumulus claws,
    hail echoed my one lone blame,
    you just had to write me, plainly.

    that is just a bit of magic…love, man

    • Thank you, Brian. I too favored that stanza and felt it left the rest of the piece lacking. So I moved it to the middle so I could build up to it and then fade from it. Works in music anyway (:

  2. okay Henry…let’s hear it! I KNOW you’ve got some strings to accompany this fine write…share the tune as well as the words…awesome skillz, Kid! 😉

    • Not so much a tribute to her, I never listened to her before this last week. She is amazing. I used it more as a voice from the past, okay, an amazing voice from the past that cannot be ignored. Thank you for your visit and comment.

  3. I like the repetitive and rhyming words specially here:

    I see your hands haunting art,

    you just had to write, and blame me;

    I hear your hands haunting art,

    you just had to write,

    and stain me.

    Nice work ~

    • I love repetition too. It’s one of me things. I liked that set of lines too. They went through many rewrites and maybe still more to come, they fit, but still not as good as the plainly line in the middle stanza. Thanks.

  4. Shawna says:

    I really love these lines, Henry:

    “I see your clock roll over my shore, I see your hands haunting art”

    “crows fell from black cumulus claws”

    • Thank you Shawna. I think of all of the images I tried to reate, the crows line was my favorite. In fact I liked it so much I considered pulling it and save it for a more worthy poetic effort. In fact I was either going to pull the entire middle stanza for the same reason, or just let it speak alone and do away with the rest. In the end, I left it and took out some other stanzas I can use on another rainey day. I apreciate your visit.

      • Shawna says:

        That happens to me frequently. I see a mini-poem in the center of another poem and I wonder if the shorter poem is more effective as a stand-alone. And often, I’ll write something short, having said everything I wanted to say already yet wondering if I should add to it. I try not to do this because there’s no reason to lengthen a poem simply to make it longer. Hope that makes sense. 🙂

  5. hedgewitch says:

    It’s very cool to me that someone from my own youth can still be relevant and inspiring to you, Henry. I think music has such power to reach us across every difference, age, culture, language even, and it’s amazing that this poem grew from that sort of experience–it’s a fine one, and the images are haunting, tense, and edgy, as well as perversely even and calm. Sort of like her voice, perhaps, though she was always a very smooth stylist, I thought…laid back, which is not the way I’d describe this. Excellent.

  6. 1emeraldcity says:

    I feel like the me-too girl here…I also thought of Carole King. But never mind..this does have a more personal ring to it. I can’t pick out a favorite line because this all resonates…I love the haunting quality, the powerful images, and I do hear a song. Thanks for sharing this. Beautiful work!.

    • This was inspired by listening to an old Carol King recording someone gave me to listen to. That is why I included part of her picture as my background for this piece. Symbolic of the type of influencial voice I was aiming for in this poem. Thank you for ur kind comments!

  7. Excellent, man, excellent. You tear into the heart of this moment with a torn spirit it seems, and the tatters make lovely music in what seems to be winds of desolation.

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