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Inwardly

 

Two faces of attractive twins wave over a Quebec apartment like full moons.

 

They are not Siamese, but their soul has divided into separate blooms.

 

A cello is rarely heard playing in a honky-tonk.

 

But these twin faces can party anywhere; though only one is inwardly happy.

 

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24 thoughts on “Inwardly

  1. i like that the cello line stands out among the rest…and it plays well with the last line and only one being inwardly happy…i wonder if they can feel that in each other…

  2. The trouble only comes if the twin faces share the same shell…then the battle ensues…Fantastic image and the write has me pondering a ton of ideas…Can we turn the cello to a stand-up and call the conflict done? 😉

  3. Shawna says:

    I think this is one person with a split personality … perhaps bipolar.

    I agree with the others; this is a fantastic line that perfectly breaks up this short piece of thoughtful material: “A cello is rarely heard playing in a honky-tonk.”

    • Yes, the one line was supposed to be much different and contrast the rest. Thank you, I too liked the cello line. I intended the piece to be about split passions, but yes that can lead to split personalities. Interesting. I always look forward to your commentary.

  4. When this arrived in my e-mail I thought how wonderful, two forms :)! I love your approach, the cello; twinning aspects, forces, faces, souls; and the last line echoed in my mind like Buddhist bells, calling me to awareness. I am awed with what you accomplished in such compact space, clearly you accessed other dimensions, found a fold in space/time, or best of all created inspired art.

    • Thank you Anna. This is actually my version of an old chinese poetic form. I do not write poetry in English with much confidence. So I think I lose some readers who take my words too literal when I’m trying to decribe emotion or conflict of heart, because my word tool box is limited. But I like what I presented here and I appreciate your recognition of parts of it.
      This is the basis of the form I used on this piece:

      L1 Qi (beginning) sets scene

      L2 Cheng (development) expands image and mood
      L3 Zhuan (returning) contrasts with start
      L4 Jie (finishing) ponders meaning

      Thanks again.

  5. Love the image and the words, perfect and not what I was expecting, love to be surprised! Is this your own art? I noticed that the girl on th right has ever so slightly rounder eyes, and o you know I have always noticed tat about twins,one often has an almost undefinably more open face…I digress, sorry.

    • Thank you. No the art is by Canadian Sara Joncas. A very talented woman who lets me use her paintings. I posted in a hurry and forgot to credit her. I’ll try to do that this morning.. I apreciate your comment.

  6. Definitely innovative, Henry! Not just new forms but new grounds beckoning China is something special.One inwardly happy is rare for twins though. Awesome write!

    Hank

  7. I can’t comment on the form, Henry… but the cello line captured me. Made me think of the musician and the instrument as the twins… as one, when playing but so different when they are apart.

  8. I reckon the one with the spiky new type knuckledusters is the unhappy one 🙂
    Interesting concept and nice to see something out of the ordinary in the way of format.

  9. The crux of this dilemma is in the way you draw a parallel between what we as readers think we know and what you as poet can tell us. There is sadness and laughter, Black Elk says, and they are the two sides of life we must understand. Your poem has that paradoxical quality that invites us to look at life that way.

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