Why I fear piranhas.
So low
So alone
So not – home
I can hear my heart
I can hear my heart
Beat solo
And the echo hurts
So low
So – in my bones
So not – so not – home
So I play
The rhythm
Piranhas ain’t got shit on you
So I play – the rhythm
Of a thousand bites
I can hear my heart
I can hear my heart
So I toke
The rhythm
Of a cold blunt
And watch the smoke – blow away
So I play
Solo
So not – home
But – so – so – stoned
Call me Hanq 
I love the emptiness in this – a hard fought emptiness to escape the feelings. Nicely done.
Thank you!
🙂
Henry–I love the wordplay in here, the rhythm. You made a song out of fear.
I so appreciate the comment Suzan. And true, I make many things out of fear of many things; a song is one.
i play the rhythm of a 100 bites…..yikes….and so not home….what is it we are escaping…i love jack white’s music too man…
Escaping piranhas, their bites, never ending rips at flesh with hungers never filled. And Jack’s okay. smiles. Thanks for the visit again and comment.
like a pure blues riff….homesickness…something about the mdma pounding a beating heart….and the pirahnas (people?)….i like the starkness, the marijuana infused bluesiness and fear…..very cool
Thanks. Muted fear can’t stop the piranhas. And yes, Jack can play a riff, no doubt. I’ve heard … marijuanna may calm thousands of fears on the outside, but adds to the ones enternal. Appreciate your visit, your prompt, and comment. I always like reading your work, and perspective on whatever you are writing about.
I agree, very cool, a bit of melancholy in there too for me, I liked the form and use of repetition. Bravo!
Unfortuanately, melancholy and me are related, and my repetition is more of a mental studder, lol, but I too liked the form. Thank you for your visit and comment; honored to read your opinion.
🙂 whatever the reason, I like it.
Ima glad you did 🙂
I like the beat and rhythm…stoned fear – fearless stuff ~
Heaven, dear, thank you. I think maybe, fear stoned works here, lol. But glad you caught the beat and rhythm, my fear is that the small things get overlooked when I throw piranha images out there. Thanks.
so much that isn’t said but can be read between the lines.
this is great, melancholic and somewhat haunting.
really enjoyed this.
Thanks for looking between the lines, some of my best writing hides there. I appreciate your comment.
Henry, I enjoyed the rhythm and the look of this poem. Loved the last four lines and the repetition of the ‘so’s.’ Very clever.
Thank you, Mary. I try to be very clever and I can’t help the rhythm thing, it jusy keeps showing up. I appreciate your visit and kind words as always.
Paranoia….the price paid for the wonderful moments of blissful nothingness…too much of this resonates with me, Sir.Wordweaver…I’ve spent many lonely evenings with my muse while those thoughts circled in for the kill…of course…it could simply be a totally Jack inspired pen…but that’s not the vibe I’m personally picking up on 😉 Loved it
I’m glad you showed, tashtoo. Lonely nights with your muse. Very interesting. I may give that some study. Kool. But thank you for the comment. And I am glad I could create a vibe that could be picked up on. Glad you loved it.
Yeah, piranhas scare me too.
I once smoked a couple of puffs and got the giggles so bad, everything was funny. This is melancholy Henry. The thought of piranhas chomping away at flesh is a truly yucky one. I can see that a whole toke might make the world seem like a better place on the outside but, it doesn’t cure the inner demons. It just quiets them for a while. Enjoyed this very much.
Oh this is good… I felt my heart pump and that feeling of paranoia…the repetitiveness in this brings it home… and that raw music… I just loved everything. I’ve never heard of Jack White…so good!
Thanks for the visit and glad you liked it and that I could intro you to Jack White :).
This is awesome stuff! haven’t even watch the video but I could already imagine it as a song 😀
Good stuff!
Yeah–why I finally stopped getting high–too many piranhas in my head–but there are plenty of them running around with two legs, too. Like these lyrics to a funked up song that goes on and on…
Well I don’t know what more to add except that this is an honest bluesy soul song that brings that fear right to the reader…the weed reference seals it 😉
Your ending makes me smile. 🙂 These are my favorites:
“Piranhas ain’t got shit on you”
“So I toke
The rhythm
Of a cold blunt
And watch the smoke – blow away”
ha…the piranhas eat you alive if you’re not careful..i like how you connect them with the scene henry
I guess you know, I know exactly what you mean. Excellent write!