The day began
upon my first alert
of shifting shadow
in my shaded room.
A shape, familiar
a breath, heavy,
weighted with whiskey,
and whisper,
“Death.”
A muzzle, stretched,
horizontal,
belched a blast,
a whizzzzzzz,
a raspy curse,
“Damn.”
The day began
upon my first alert
of a blazing hole
in my shaded room.
Again.
Call me Hanq 
When I looked at the picture, I immediately thought of Bukowski. The poem, also, has a Bukowski flavor to it. Enjoyed it.
Thanks for stopping by. Us Henry”s (Heinrich) have to stick together. Glad you enjoyed it. I realize this piece might be a killjoy for a Pub poem, but the MC does get to live to drink another day…
really nice man…the whisper of death made me shiver…and then the damn after was a bit of laughin release…the hole in the shade is a great image to end on as well…
Appreciate your comment, Brian.
Ah, the heaviness of “repeat.” I love your alliteration here, all that /sh/ and /w/.
Thanks, Shawna!
Awww.. it is a little bit like reading something to do with Bukowski and his drinking. What a sad way to wake every day. In a fog.
Great imagery Henry.
you captured that feeling so perfectly. at least from what i’ve heard… 😉
Thanks for the visit, Kelly.
Wow great write…I thong of Bukowski too…love your work Henry…you can say so much in a few stanzas…which I adore…bkm
Wow, my best comment from you. I respect your work so much. Thank you!
I have heard the name for awhile now and I still don’t know who that is. But, your poem is well written and wish i could see the connection to the person in order to capture what I’am not in on. But, non the less a great read.
Dark, Henry–and down to earth true–been around too many close to me who liked to have Jack or Bud over for the Breakfast of Champions–not too damn glamorous in the end. Good write.
Not a glorious site at all. Thanks for the comment!
I like the form and repetitive lines…like a broken yet vicious cycle…have to say thought that the face at the background is giving me the creeps ~
Wishing you happy day ~
The background creeps me some too, but I wanted to try to help display the ugliness of my topic. I’ll be changing it with my next post:) Thanks for visiting!
the first thing i thought was how can there be a shadow in a shaded room, but then at the end, there’s a hole, so i guess there’s light coming in through the hole, and that’s making the shadow!!
messy little girl
zongrik,
U ℝ such the scientist!
Now this leaves me feeling quite hungover.
And like i need another round.
That’s some powerful punch!
Poetcolette! Thanks for the visit.
I have been surrounded by this kind of self destruction as a child and your poem invoked that same sense of powerlessness, hopelessness, and fear. It gave me shivers, great work!
Maybe I’ll write a cheery piece next week that will make you smile. But thank you!
No matter how much light there may (or may not) be, his day begins in darkness. Powerful.
Thank you, Cathryn!!!!
i thought of bukowski as well when i saw the pic…and i know from family background and the environment i grew up how much harm it can cause…well penned henry
Thank you for the visit and compliment, Claudia! Always appreciate your visit.
I am made aware of the amazing control of the writer, as I read this piece. This is no runaway write – each word has been carefully placed, each line weighed. Really extraordinary writing.
Now I like these comments. You can keep coming back Kerry:)
But really, thank you. I appreciate your kind words, and yes keep coming back, even f you don’t like something, let me know why. Have a great day!
Nicely done. This leads from fullness to emptiness, thru space/time into actual room thru to something else, a space in the soul that seems to be growing a hole. There’s a sadness here, of course, as well as an awareness of the defeated soul who occupies such emptiness. I wonder whether such awareness itself is the beginning of the new, though it seems it is an end. But emptiness can liberate as much as terrify, I’ve heard. A hole is a possibility for opening up into greater and deeper awareness. At least holes in the soul. In a house, they need to have a window put in their place or perhaps new plywood.
Thank you for such a thorough comment. I enjoyed reading it more than my post. I appreciate your time and visit.
Each word has a purpose..nothing unnecessary in this piece. A day beginning again perhaps unexpected…like “hell, I am still here” Love this piece!
Bingo! You win the closest to what I be tryin’ to speak contest:) Thank you, Susie!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad you loved it.