Beneath a tree, inside a jar ………. outside a hive, I see a bee
A prison wall surrounds a bed, within a pod ……………. kept hid from light
An island lost ………… ‘tween seas of blue, a stranded soul, sunburned to crisp
All breath is crushed, as walls fall in, and crumble down …………. in clouds of dust
A prison wall, surrounds a bed …………… within a pod, kept hid from light
And tears are shed ……………… and tears are shed
All breath is crushed ………. as walls fall in, and crumble down, in dank dust clouds
A dream, a dream ……………… a dream please be
And tears are shed …………… and tears are shed
Storm clouds swirl black, unleashing rain …………. releasing fear, repressing life
A dream, a dream ………….. a dream please be
My clock unlocked, is dead unplugged, in darkness dawn …………. ‘side curtains drawn
And prayers are prayed ………………… and harps are played
An island lost, ‘tween seas of blue ………. a stranded soul, sunburned to crisp
Its sound grows faint ………………….. the buzz decreased
Beneath a tree, inside a jar, outside a hive ………………… I see a bee
Call me Hanq 
The form really works well for you here, Henry. Enjoyed 🙂
Poor bee, and the soul he represents that is disconnected from the hive, trapped all alone in a prison jar. I suspect this poem is about more than just a bee, at least it is to me. Peace, Linda
ha…really great progression in this…and in your own style as well…love the elipses…and your subtle adjustments along the way…that last stanza is really strong and by far my fav…really like that island lost tween seas of blue….cool variations brother….
Lovely form with dots…dots …The 2nd and 3rd stanzas are full of dark melancholy and crumbling dreams ~ Thanks for the visit in my blog ~
Quite an interesting interpretation of the form, and your ellipsis separators break the line enough so that the underlying structure isn’t obvious.
haha…so you seem to be even more rebellious than i am as you took much freedom with the form.. i like what you do with the dots.. and i agree with sam..nicely done sir
Some powerful images around isolation and an emotion of loss in the poem which makes effective use of a fragmentary flow
Henry, I’m so bad with forms, I don’t recognize the name of this, but it’s damned impressive, your long breaks are like sighs, almost audible. Whether it’s a bee or someone incarcerated, it’s the same heartbreak. Touched me. Peace, Amy
Loved the way you worked with this form, Henry! I wonder what the bee symbolizes.
I should like to hear you read this aloud.
Yes…I would LOVE to hear this read! Henry…it’s stunning! Just a fantastic display of your talent. Love it! And thank you so very much for you kind words and encouragement…I bow to you, word weaver, and am both humbled and honored by your friendship.
What a daunting piece, Henry. It reads with such a tune, very much lyrical. The ellipsis pattern leaves a space to fill in as we read along, as a pause for a breath to fill in. Very sad that some lives are stunted and sheltered like this. I think of a child born to a war-torn state. Beyond the sadness, a pleasure to read.
Thanks so much for visiting my way. 🙂
can you free the bee?
‘A dream, a dream ………….. a dream please be’
yes.