I dream to be the drummer beating loud
And lead deaf cats home purring pert and proud
I dream to be the singer of a band
And share old tales with moss from barren land
And daughters willing wilting on the stage
Where deeds of drunks go flat with bouncers’ rage
Where joints from baggies rolled slow down the rush
And freaks the fog cloud floating in white dust
I like the needle flushing out my pain
From winter winds and father’s whips in Maine
I hate the way weed wilts young singer’s rhyme
To slimmer zens and Buddhas eastern time
That dream about the drummer is a lie
I play guitar and drink martinis dry
For dVerse attempting to write John Clare Sonnet
This is the best Clarian sonnet I’ve read all day! My Dad was a drummer.
Love the way you played this. Wonderful write!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/then-quickly-gone/
A Clarian sonnet subtly and only in form, but the approach is modern to the core, with its self-referential musing and sardonic humor. Bravo!
nice…i like this one much man…got the grit but also the grease of being in a band and playing and just being together doing music…ups and downs…but i do like it much…
I reckon you got right into Clare’s mind there. Wonderfully done.Loved the specific alliteration as well.
Love this!
very cool henry…made me think of some of the rockbands with the needles and white dust…ugh..think it has to do with the intensity…the music is one thing…and then always the hunger for life…the passion..the wanting to feel the real…i like this very much..
Great rhyme with surreal flair. The dream is quite poignant and though it strains against the form it never bursts it, fitting for a poem about living at the edge.
There are some really tight lines here:
“And lead deaf cats home purring pert and proud”
“And daughters willing wilting on the stage”
“And freaks the fog cloud floating in white dust”
“From winter winds and father’s whips in Maine”
“To slimmer zens and Buddhas eastern time”
And to end with the confession of a former lie! Fantastic piece, Henry. Loved it.
Wow. Definitely one of my favorites for this prompt. You really drew the whole scene here. I remember those things, nights like that……
A really special write, Henry.
Just loved it — all of it, but particularly the twist in the end, and the way the ‘voice’ changes to match.